i want a dog.
it was so bad seeing her cry that night. her dogs were given away. a piece of her ripped out. and the best part? there wasn't even time given to prepare..
i wanted to make it all better. make it all go away.. fill the empty space.. and i fucking can't do anything right now.
to think i could save a life.
to think i could improve a life.
to think i could mould a life.
to think i might not see those eyes..
her eyes.. filled with joy, laughter, a smile.
it's eyes that would give me all these.
i gotta make money.
Tuesday, 7 August 2007
Saturday, 10 March 2007
you know. i think it's pay back time. all the sins i have committed have come back to haunt me. all the hearts i've broken (which i honestly cannot remember doing) have come back to break me.
recently, i lost my handphone like twice within a month. i really seriously hope it doesn't have to happen again. but i guess that's how it goes huh.. you do stupd things in ur past, they come back and get u. yea i've been a bad bad bad boy once. things you would never dream of doing. of course discreetness is of a good thing here. what's losing my phone twice? maybe i've just been to absent minded.
when the mind is absent from reality, it would probably be present in the past. in thoughts and memories. for most, perhaps in the future. for most. well i am not "most".
life has been a real DRAG. the projects in my specialization course have been coming in and i aassure you, it isn't the "slack sia" many students from other courses would say. they just don't know. yea sure, it's just writting. well try writting bout why the sky is blue. get my drift? i doubt so.
yea, and i miss her too.
recently, i lost my handphone like twice within a month. i really seriously hope it doesn't have to happen again. but i guess that's how it goes huh.. you do stupd things in ur past, they come back and get u. yea i've been a bad bad bad boy once. things you would never dream of doing. of course discreetness is of a good thing here. what's losing my phone twice? maybe i've just been to absent minded.
when the mind is absent from reality, it would probably be present in the past. in thoughts and memories. for most, perhaps in the future. for most. well i am not "most".
life has been a real DRAG. the projects in my specialization course have been coming in and i aassure you, it isn't the "slack sia" many students from other courses would say. they just don't know. yea sure, it's just writting. well try writting bout why the sky is blue. get my drift? i doubt so.
yea, and i miss her too.
Tuesday, 20 February 2007
Have you ever felt that feeling whenever you see someone, you freeze and your heart starts to beat so fast and you have to hold on to something so you wouldn’t fall? Sometimes when they talk to you, do you utter stupid words and end up embarrassing yourself? It’s not that you want it, but just the presence of that person makes your heart beat faster and slower at the same time. Would you be brave and admit your feelings? What if it’s simply not meant to be, do you give up? Or keep trying and end up with nothing? Well, that’s love. Its irony speaks, but you got to take risks to get answers. When you meet someone and you gradually fall in love with that person, try to express your love to her because every moment you wasted would be equal to tons of regret in the end. Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they are gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry they won’t hear you anymore.
The love you can’t have lasts the longest, feels the strongest and hurts the most. It’s so hard pretending to be friends with someone special when every time you look at that person it just hurts even more knowing that all you see is ultimately everything that you want but you can’t have. Isn’t it stupid when you say, “no, I don’t love that person anymore.” But still, when the memories are refreshed and that person become visible again in your life. You’ll stare and say, “Damn it! Why can’t I forget you?” So each time I see you, I say to myself, “I moved on.” Each time you smile at me, I say to myself, “yeah, were just friends!” But every time you look at me, I end up saying, “Shit! It’s so hard to pretend!” It’s hard to love someone who is not serious enough. Time would give you chances to talk, chances to be together and chances to share. See how it hurts. You only have chances, just chances.
A heartbreak isn’t as loud as a bomb exploding. Sometimes it can be as quiet as a feather falling and the most painful thing is no one really hears it except you. You can handle the pain that you feel and make others believe that you can move on. But you can never deny the truth to yourself that the person who failed and hurt you is still the person you’ll choose to love. I've cried many times because of a love lost and a love I never really had. i've come to know a pain worse than dying.
The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go.
Loving someone can’t be proven with just the way you feel, the words you say or the things you give. If you’ve ignored yourself and sacrificed your own happiness for the one you love, you'll know what love means.
"you need to love yourself in order to love someone else"?
i beg to differ.
The love you can’t have lasts the longest, feels the strongest and hurts the most. It’s so hard pretending to be friends with someone special when every time you look at that person it just hurts even more knowing that all you see is ultimately everything that you want but you can’t have. Isn’t it stupid when you say, “no, I don’t love that person anymore.” But still, when the memories are refreshed and that person become visible again in your life. You’ll stare and say, “Damn it! Why can’t I forget you?” So each time I see you, I say to myself, “I moved on.” Each time you smile at me, I say to myself, “yeah, were just friends!” But every time you look at me, I end up saying, “Shit! It’s so hard to pretend!” It’s hard to love someone who is not serious enough. Time would give you chances to talk, chances to be together and chances to share. See how it hurts. You only have chances, just chances.
A heartbreak isn’t as loud as a bomb exploding. Sometimes it can be as quiet as a feather falling and the most painful thing is no one really hears it except you. You can handle the pain that you feel and make others believe that you can move on. But you can never deny the truth to yourself that the person who failed and hurt you is still the person you’ll choose to love. I've cried many times because of a love lost and a love I never really had. i've come to know a pain worse than dying.
The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go.
Loving someone can’t be proven with just the way you feel, the words you say or the things you give. If you’ve ignored yourself and sacrificed your own happiness for the one you love, you'll know what love means.
"you need to love yourself in order to love someone else"?
i beg to differ.
Thursday, 15 February 2007
Tuesday, 30 January 2007
hey hey
today was a very tiring day. we went to Fu Chun primary and started on the wall mural. i was kinda looking forward to it initially. thought it would have been fun, painting walls and stuff. by the end of the day, i'm kinda hoping we would be able to finish it within 3 or 4 weeks and not have to go back again. oh well.. we'll see how it goes.
today kin was nice to drive us around for a little bit. went to seleter camp and caught a great breeze. i like his car. it's alot of motivation to get a license. haha.. i had thought of it before, but today was a huge motivation boost.
anyways, i got to chat with her last night on msn =] it was nice just to be talking to her again.. though i didn't hear her voice, i couldn't ask for more. i miss her.
when i get my car, in a loooong time, i think i'd go for drives by myself. it's nice to just drive around and listen to nice songs and think.
i wonder how she's feeling. i wonder if she still thinks about me. hai.. i just know i think of her everyday and i would give anything in this world, even my dreams of being a pilot for her. oh well.. Dear God, please, please, please give her a guy who will love, cherish, protect and respect her. let her be happy. only then will i live a lonely life, missing someone for as long as i live, but alive nonetheless. people out there, say what you want. i'm adament.
as for now, i'll just try to make the best of things.
her hurting didn't help me move on. it made me ask why. it broke me. but helped me understand that i wouldn't have wanted it any other way. i will always be hers to break.
have a nice day folks.
today kin was nice to drive us around for a little bit. went to seleter camp and caught a great breeze. i like his car. it's alot of motivation to get a license. haha.. i had thought of it before, but today was a huge motivation boost.
anyways, i got to chat with her last night on msn =] it was nice just to be talking to her again.. though i didn't hear her voice, i couldn't ask for more. i miss her.
when i get my car, in a loooong time, i think i'd go for drives by myself. it's nice to just drive around and listen to nice songs and think.
i wonder how she's feeling. i wonder if she still thinks about me. hai.. i just know i think of her everyday and i would give anything in this world, even my dreams of being a pilot for her. oh well.. Dear God, please, please, please give her a guy who will love, cherish, protect and respect her. let her be happy. only then will i live a lonely life, missing someone for as long as i live, but alive nonetheless. people out there, say what you want. i'm adament.
as for now, i'll just try to make the best of things.
her hurting didn't help me move on. it made me ask why. it broke me. but helped me understand that i wouldn't have wanted it any other way. i will always be hers to break.
have a nice day folks.
Thursday, 18 January 2007
haha i have a blog. stupid.
it's my first time coming to media lessons after 6 months. haha.. i think i ought to catch up and make up for the last semester. no time to be a little to lazy, a little too irresponsible anymore. ok so, i have to create a blog. i think it's quite stupid cuz i hardly ever update the one i have on friendster anyway. i just don't see the significance in telling everyone about my day. no one REALLY bothers anyway. BUT, i guess i am required and have already created this blog. yay... so teacher, where's my marks? haha
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